Sick Note

Wednesday's Ghost is feeling rather too ghostly today

Photo by Krista Mangulsone on Unsplash

My Wednesday’s Ghost episode this week was either going to be about probably (but not definitively) accidentally visiting a brothel, or the time I was particularly stressed at work and was laid low by a mysterious malady that rendered me unable to speak.

Tantalising, right?

Either way, those are going to have to wait for another week. Yesterday I stood up from bed and nearly fell down again from dizziness and vertigo. Because I’m an idiot and maybe a workaholic, I decided to travel three hours north anyway, to lecture for a full day, as planned.

I’ve been violently ill in public just twice in my life - both incidents were on train platforms. The first time was after a meal at what was then one of the world’s most famous restaurants, which I won’t name here in case they sue me, but let’s just say molecular gastronomy gave way to molecular gastritis.

The second day was yesterday on the platform at Wolverhampton, facing into a corner next to a vending machine, into a Ziploc freezer bag that a concerned colleague had provided me with. The bag was transparent, of course. The indignity.

I now have a full-blown bout of vestibular neuritis, my second episode this year. If you’ve never experienced it, you don’t want to.

Respect your body, folks. Baby and coddle that immune system of yours. Stress does not mess around and its effects are as real as they are various and weird.

Tune in next week and look after yourself until then…I will tell you a full story that’s well crafted, not like this one, that’s real and true and makes me feel just a little bit vulnerable.

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